Why Therapy Doesn't Have to Look Like “Therapy”
When you picture therapy, what comes to mind?
Maybe two people sitting opposite each other in comfortable chairs, having deep and serious conversations while the therapist thoughtfully nods and takes notes.
Movies and TV have given us a pretty specific idea of what therapy is supposed to look like. There is often a quiet room, two chairs, lots of eye contact, and a therapist who somehow knows exactly what to say at the perfect moment.
Real therapy can look very different.
At Real Talk Clinic, we don't believe there is one "right" way to do therapy. Sometimes the most meaningful conversations happen while you're sitting beside someone rather than directly opposite them. They might happen while walking, sitting in the car, having a coffee, playing a game or simply doing something with your hands.
Sometimes it's easier when you're not sitting face-to-face
For some people, sitting directly opposite someone and maintaining eye contact can feel incredibly distracting or uncomfortable. You might find yourself thinking about where you're looking, what your facial expression is doing, whether the other person is reacting to what you've said, or what their expression might mean.
When you're not having to focus on all of that, there can be more mental space available for the actual conversation.
This is particularly important for many neurodivergent people, who may find eye contact, reading facial expressions or monitoring social cues tiring or distracting. Sitting side-by-side, walking together or having something to do with your hands can make difficult conversations feel more manageable.
And sometimes, talking while doing something else simply feels more natural.
Therapy can involve doing things
Therapy doesn't always have to mean talking for 50 minutes.
For children, play is often an important part of building connection and creating a space where they feel comfortable. This might mean playing board games, cards, drawing, building something, kicking a ball around or finding another activity that genuinely interests them.
But adults can benefit from this too.
You don't stop needing connection, comfort or something to help you feel at ease just because you turned 18.
Sometimes a game of cards makes it easier to talk. Sometimes going for a walk means the conversation flows more naturally. Sometimes having a coffee or keeping your hands busy makes it easier to discuss something difficult.
The activity isn't necessarily the "therapy". It can be the thing that helps create the conditions for therapy to happen.
You don't have to start with the hardest thing
Therapy also doesn't have to begin with the most uncomfortable conversation you've ever had.
Building trust takes time. Especially if you've had experiences where you haven't felt understood, listened to or accepted by health professionals, it can take a while to feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable.
We can start where you're comfortable.
That might mean getting to know each other, talking about your interests, playing a game or simply working out what makes therapy feel manageable for you. As trust and connection develop, we can gradually work towards the things that are harder to talk about.
There is no prize for getting to the deepest topic in the first session.
There isn't one "therapy person"
There is also a stereotype of what a therapist looks like. Therapy is often portrayed as a particular type of person sitting in a particular type of room, usually in a very particular way.
The reality is much broader.
The psychology and broader health professions have historically been female-dominated, and finding a therapist who feels like someone you can relate to can matter. The relationship you have with your therapist is an important part of the therapeutic process, and feeling comfortable enough to be yourself can make a real difference.
That's one reason we believe therapy should be flexible rather than expecting every person to adapt themselves to a predetermined idea of what therapy is supposed to look like.
So, what can therapy actually look like?
It might look like:
Talking while playing a board game
Going for a walk
Sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face
Having a coffee while you chat
Drawing, crafting or creating something
Using movement or hands-on activities
Playing cards
Talking while sitting in the car
Taking breaks when things become overwhelming
Starting with lighter conversations and gradually moving into more difficult topics
Or, yes, sometimes sitting in two chairs and talking
There is no single right way to do it.
For some people, a traditional therapy room and face-to-face conversation feels completely comfortable. For others, it can create another layer of difficulty that gets in the way of opening up.
Therapy should be a space where you can feel safe enough to be yourself, not another place where you have to perform being "normal".
So if the idea of sitting in a chair, making eye contact and talking about your deepest feelings for 50 minutes makes you want to run for the hills, therapy might still be for you.
It just might not look like the therapy you've seen on TV.